Monday, December 7, 2009

Facebook killed my cousin (revised)

Evidently I'm not the only one finding weirdness in Facebook's exhortations to bother your friends. The comic strip xkcd examines the topic today.

This post revises an earlier draft of the poem. This revision includes a suggestion from another cousin, one who is active enough on Facebook that the big FB doesn't command me to bother him.



Facebook Killed My Cousin


You haven’t talked to Lynda lately.
Facebook announces it on my news feed
like it’s simply factual, a tidbit of trivia,
like it isn’t loaded up with innuendo,
like You’re looking good today doesn’t mean
You finally found a razor and an iron.

Send Lynda a message.
Facebook gives me commands, implies
I make a statement if I disobey the Facebook.
Having no news to share is a snub.

Glenn is now friends with Adam, Julia, and Tara Lynne.
Oh, just shout it all over the playground,
like there’s some law of conservation of friends,
like I had to push a lifetime of friendship with Lynda aside
to make room for perfect strangers – strangers who
may be found at the indicated links, by the way,
should there be any resentment.

Reconnect with Lynda.
As though I ever disconnected? Is Facebook trying
to get her angry with me?
Make Facebook better for her.
Like this isn’t a ploy to keep us tangled
in the web of Facebook?

Write on her wall.
Vandalism. Surely a way to make Facebook better for her.
Poke her.
Seems a bit impolite.
Poke her.
Like, to see if she’s still there?
Poke her.
To see if she’s still alive? Like she ceases to exist
if not active on Facebook?
Hold a mirror under Lynda’s nose.
Oh my god!

&&

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


The ping-pong stars -- Ding Ning
Urge again and again.
Basic archives
Full name: Urge again and again
[url=http://wholesalenikeshoes.manifo.com/]cheap jordans[/url] Give unripe date: On June 20, 1990
Ground of one's previous experience: Heilongjiang Daqing
Height: 172cm
Project: Ping-pong
What belong to a club: Beijing accuses
Main achievement
A couplet chief of a tribe surpassed female Chan Guanjun publicly 2011, female Shuang Sijiang (with Guo Yan) ;
Qatar was surpassed publicly 2011 female sheet, female double (with Guo Yan) runner-up;
England surpassed female Chan Guanjun publicly 2011, female Shuang Yajun (with Li Xiaoxia)
2010 female Shuang Yajun of ping-pong of Guangzhou Asia Game (with Liu Shiwen)
2010 championship of party of woman of ping-pong of Guangzhou Asia Game
2010 countrywide ping-pong tounament female round champion (delegate Beijing team)
2010 female Chan Guanjun of countrywide ping-pong tounament
2010 champion of female group of group of ping-pong world cup
China was surpassed publicly 2010 (Suzhou) female Shuang Yajun (with Liu Shiwen) , female Chan Sijiang;
Ping of 2010 Muscovite worlds surpasses woman party runner-up
Ping-pong of cup of the 23rd Asia of Guangzhou surpassed female Chan Yajun 2010
Germany surpassed; of female Chan Yajun publicly 2010
Germany surpassed female Shuang Yajun publicly 2010 (with Li Xiaodan) ;
Kuwait of contest of itinerate of international ping couplet surpassed female Shuang Yajun publicly 2010 (with Liu Shiwen) , female Chan Bajiang
International pinged couplet itinerate surpasses Qatar to surpass female Shuang Guanjun publicly 2010, female Chan Bajiang
Itinerate of international ping couplet surpassed total final female Shuang Guanjun 2009 (with Liu Shiwen) , female Chan Yajun
Tounament of 2009 Asias ping-pong female group, female sheet, female Shuang Guanjun (with Li Xiaoxia) ; Mix Shuang Yajun (with Zhang Jike) ;
Organization of ping-pong world cup surpassed champion 2009;
2009 champion of female group of the 11st the national games; Mix Shuang Jijun (with Yan An) ; Female sheet the 6th;
Ping exceeded champion of league matches female group 2009;
2009 world tounament female Shuang Yajun (on May 4 with Guo Yan 4: 1 force captures Korea) ;
2009 Asian cup female Chan Sijiang;
Kuwait surpassed female Chan Guanjun publicly 2009;
2008 championship of countrywide tounament organization;
2006 countrywide tounament female Shuang Guanjun;
Blueness of Lin Ci world surpassed; of female Chan Guanjun 2005
2005 championship of organization of games of the 10th whole nation
2004 championship of countrywide tounament organization;
The Asia is teenage 2004 runner-up of tounament organization championship, singles;
The world is teenage 2004 tounament organization championship, doubles champion, singles champion;
2003 championship of countrywide tounament organization;
2002 countrywide tounament organization the 3rd (Zhang Yi Ning Guoyan did not take part in the match) ;