Saturday, May 16, 2009

Free Lunch

Yes, There is a Free Lunch

I have defriended you.
Nothing personal, just like it really wasn’t all that personal
to accept your invitation in the first place.
I was promiscuous in my friending then,
and since we had five friends in common,
and despite having only a vague idea of who you were,
I accepted.

But now I have defriended you.
I still don’t really know who you are,
though I see your status updates regularly:
looking forward to the weekend,
sipping wine now that the kids are in bed,
watching Steel Magnolias for the thirteenth time.
People I don’t know post karma and stickers
and Larry Fishes on your wall,
share comments on Gossip Girl and Doctor McDreamy,
tag you to answer 25 very personal questions
about things I really don’t want to know.

Burger King will give me a free Whopper
to defriend ten Facebook friends,
and let’s face it, it’s a mighty stretch to call you a friend,
so this is really a freebie.
Tomorrow while I’m eating my Whopper
I know I’ll enjoy it as much as ever, probably more, since it’s free.
There will be no guilt and no one will know
I earned it by defriending ten friends.
I’m not saying that you are worth no more
than a tenth of a fast food sandwich,
but there’s no denying your friendship
is worth less than that to me.